You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Matthew 7:16 (ESV)
Relationships: Red flags I will be sharing from time to time different relationship tips, and what to be aware of as it relates to certain personalities. As God’s children, we need to have discernment when dealing with His people. As today’s verse states, you will recognize them by their fruits. A disclaimer here. I am not a licensed therapist and I am not encouraging anyone to diagnose another person. I am simply sharing common signs (there are many others) that people who have narcissistic tendencies exhibit. There may be times when you come across very strong personalities and perhaps you’re like me, questioning the behavior and trying to understand this person. This list is something to keep in mind for those who are looking to date and perhaps, wanting to form a romantic relationship. Usually, those with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), will have most, if not all the signs highlighted below. Again, as I mentioned, there are several other signs, not listed here. If an individual has only one or two signs, do not look to assume they have NPD. However, if you see on a consistent basis, a majority of the signs mentioned below, more than likely, the person has narcissistic tendencies. If additional information is needed, I would encourage you to look to do your own research. To speak with a licensed professional, in this area of expertise, about your concerns. I have based the signs outlined below from a video of Dr. Les Carter. I will place a link to the video below. Warning Signs:
Super hyper about life, or the emotion of the moment. They are usually very larger than life in a party or group, and always seeking to be.
Very intense in “love bombing”. Meaning they are all over you constantly. Totally encompassing and showing excessive amounts of feelings in the relationship, usually in the early stages. For example, you may have recently met and gone on a couple of dates. And from this, they profess that they are madly in love. For the receiver, you may get caught up in the euphoria of this attention. They barely know you but are wanting to speed up the relationship. Be extremely cautious.
They will at times be excessively happy or just the opposite, excessively angry; and will explode over little slights. When questioned about their anger, they will say, “that’s just my personality”. As if that statement excuses the behavior.
Truly self-absorbed. Everything is about them. They will listen to your concerns because they feel they must. But they will always, always bring it back to themselves and their needs.
To their core, they are impressed by the external. They give excessive attention to hair, clothes, appearance, etc. Not just for themselves but also for whom they are with. They like to have “arm candy” for their significant other. They will also be on that partner constantly, regarding their appearance.
Obsessed with materialism & elitism. Always looking to be around people who are wealthy and/or have a lot of power/influence. Hoping to have some of that wealth and/or power, given to them.
They will hijack the topic of conversation. If there was a certain topic everyone was discussing, they will interject and eventually bring that topic back to themselves.
They always must be in charge. Things must always be done their way. There might be a couple of ways to perform a task, but to them, all the other ways are inferior to theirs.
Extremely defensive. If you are discussing a point of view, they will want to convince all, that their point is the only right way.
They have a long record of broken relationships. And of course, with all past relationships, it was the other person’s fault, never theirs. They like to play a constant victim.
When you come across someone with most/all the above signs, be extremely cautious. It will be up to you on moving forward with any serious involvement. Take your time to really get to know this person. Sometimes these signs are not revealed early on (except #2).
To note, this does not only apply to romantic potential partners. It could apply to people you work or go to school with. It could also apply to friends and/or family members.
I am not saying to avoid these people altogether. Sometimes that is not possible. But for those in the dating arena, be aware. Do not feel you can change them, or they will change. You cannot change them and for the most part, their personalities are set.
In dealing with any strong personality, I encourage you to be the Christian son and daughter God has called you to be. To pray for these people and to always look to treat all you meet, with Christian love and kindness.
Blessings,
Angélique~