“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Matthew 10:16 ESV
Relationship Tips: Setting Boundaries
What are healthy boundaries? Healthy boundaries can be viewed as an imaginary force-field, there to protect our physical as well as our mental/emotional well-being. Setting healthy boundaries is crucial if we are to have any healthy relationships.
Physical boundaries include your body, personal space, and privacy. Violations can include standing too close, inappropriate touching, even going through someone’s personal items without permission. Emotional boundaries can involve separating your feelings from another’s feelings. Violations include taking responsibility for another’s feelings, letting another’s feelings dictate your own, sacrificing your own needs to please another, etc.
Boundaries are there to protect, by setting a clear line between what belongs to you, and what does not belong to you. A lack of boundaries can allow others to invade and take over your personhood. It can allow others to control you to a great extent, both physically and emotionally.
Taking care of yourself means you must set healthy boundaries. God, Himself has boundaries set up throughout the Bible. He also outlines consequences when one does not abide by the boundaries His word outlines.
To have a healthy relationship, boundaries are essential. If you do not have healthy boundaries in all your relationships (professional & personal), you will inevitably become what is called, an enabler. An enabler allows other individuals’ bad behavior to continue in various situations; and for that behavior to go so far as to “cross the line”. And for most enablers, they tend to make excuses for these individuals and their behaviors.
Now, that we have some understanding of what boundaries are, we must take the time to develop our own healthy boundaries to protect our values. We do this so that as we go forward in life, we won’t allow ourselves, our values, or our boundaries, to be compromised. We will be prepared in case we do meet someone who crosses our path, and who wants to shatter or destroy who we are.
Some tips to setting good boundaries:
Tune into your feelings
Be honest with yourself
Practice self-awareness
Consider your past, present and possible future
Make self-care a priority
If you need to, do not hesitate to seek support
As God’s children, He does not want us going through life without proper and healthy boundaries. As you develop your healthy boundaries, you will see the health and strength of relationships you form, with all those around you.
Blessings,
Angélique~
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