Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 (ESV)
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (ESV)
In the world we live in today, there are various types of thoughts and philosophies about dating. There are open relationships, having multiple partners, engaging in sex before marriage, and the list can go on and on. And for those who want to walk in line with God’s word, a lot of times they’ll be ridiculed by friends, family, and society at large, for adhering to God’s principles. There are many topics to cover in the dating arena, but today we’ll focus on celibacy within the dating relationship.
There are good reasons why God in the Bible gives instructions for one to wait to engage in sexual activity after marriage. Our Creator knows the physical and emotional repercussions that can occur, by having sex outside of a holy covenant relationship. Some of those repercussions can be unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, feelings of doubt, and questioning why you engaged in sex with this person. It can also lead a person to question their abilities/their performance and whether or not they please their partner. In addition, others engage in sex seeking a loving/committed relationship and/or feel they “have to” engage, in order to “keep” the other person. They feel pressured into sexual relationships so as not to be thought of as “strange or weird” because everyone is having sex outside of marriage. These various thoughts and emotions can lead many to not be true to themselves or their values when dating.
There are many situations where a person is not ready for a sexual relationship and regrets entering into the sexual arena within the dating scene. One other factor many do not realize or think about when entering into a sexual relationship with another is the fact that they are creating soul ties with this other person. One will forever carry around a part of this other person, long after the relationship has ended. Another major problem that can occur when engaging in sexual activity outside of marriage, is that the person you’re with could have glaring red flags before your physical encounter. Had you not engaged in sex, you might have ended the relationship and moved on. But once a person engages in sex, you create that soul tie/that bond, so now you’re striving to make the relationship work, despite the serious misgivings you had in the beginning. Depending on the physical encounter, one might start seeing green flags in place of the definite red ones. One can end up defending this person and their behaviors to others, who can see clearly the type of individual they are. But due to the sexual/physical nature of the relationship, your senses are not as sharp or discerning as they once were, and you’ll begin to view them through “rose-colored” glasses.
When deciding to be celibate before marriage, there are many resources to guide you. The first is to always read the Bible and maintain a close relationship with God. In addition, seek out various YouTube videos from pastors and other couples who have shared their stories and testimonies. There are books for both men and women that will give insight and encouragement on your celibate journey while dating. Within these resources, you also will find practical tips on how to conduct yourself while dating. Giving you advice on what you should and should not do, so as not to fall into temptation. Do not think that you’re strong enough to engage in certain “activities” or get close to the “edge” and not fall. Many strong individuals have fallen into temptation and regretted it afterward.
Ultimately, do what works for you but, make sure your boundaries are in place and they align with God’s word. May God’s blessings be with you as you navigate Christian dating in today’s world.
Blessings,
Angélique
To contact: Angelique@21stcenturygodlyliving.com
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