The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. ESV-Psalms 34:18-19
Divorce for most is a very, painful experience. I mentioned in my introduction that I will explain the painful time I have gone through recently; which happens to be divorce.
My husband whom I was with for ten years and married to for nine, decided he no longer loves me as he once did, and he wanted a divorce. There are those that state divorce doesn’t just come out from anywhere. And they are right; but only to an extent. For me, hindsight is 20/20. There were little signs here and there that I saw, but at the time, I did not know it would lead to my husband abruptly leaving our marriage. At the time, these little blimps or signs in any marriage, would not constitute your marriage ending a year and a half from the point you noticed them. No one can predict this nor tell you to take the little “blimps” here and there in a marriage, as a serious sign something is very wrong. Especially if these signs are spaced out and one does not necessarily go with the other. But when I did notice a huge deviation in pattern and change, I knew something was wrong. I did what I could to try and save our marriage but unbeknownst at the time to me, he had plotted and planned with the other woman, his brother, and his close friends, to leave. He did this for the last year and a half of our marriage. All the while telling me he loved me and that he’s just going through the change. I would ask him to talk to me and what’s wrong, as I sensed strongly something was wrong. But he kept insisting we will be together forever and thanked me for walking with him through this journey at this stage in his life. He kept telling me that he will be back to his old self soon. Well, they say the wife is the last to know when the final ball drops. And in this case, it was true. So, when I did realize everything, I discovered my husband broke three of the ten commandments:
Lying –Adultery — Stealing…
There was countless evidence of conversations, texts, and photos with this other married woman. A woman his brother encouraged him to contact and call while he was supposedly working on our marriage. He would tell me she’s just a childhood friend and she’s married. He finally admitted she took a five-hour bus ride from her home to the city in his country (he was in the country at the time for just a few weeks to work) so they could meet up and “talk”. Leaving her husband and kids to go meet him. I said to him, you can “talk” on the phone. Then he just looks at me. Adultery.
He took countless items to his home country with him when he went to visit and never brought them back home. Items that I am still making the payments on (they were in my name on the account) that he has never paid me for. Items he talked me into getting and insisted he needed. He kept stating not to worry, he’ll pick up other jobs and we’ll be able to pay off the lines of credit by the next year. Stealing
For the last year and a half, he was supposed to be working on “us”. He kept telling me we will be together forever and that he loves me. He would state “you’re my precious wife”. He lied. Because to the people I mentioned above, he told them over a year ago that he stopped loving me and that he just felt friendship. Never once did he say this to me until the day he asked for a divorce. Lying
For him, he had to pretend and go along with the charade for the last year and a half of our marriage, because he was not ready to walk. He wanted the equipment, he wanted to try and stockpile money, and get me to pay his living expenses while he was setting up to make his move. In which I was. I was the one who carried the financial load. And towards the end, he took full advantage of this. By the time I really figured it out, it was too late. He asked for a divorce and had no remorse or empathy.
I share this painful testimony so that those out there who have gone through or are going through this trying time, can take some comfort. You are not alone. Divorce can be extremely painful and the healing from this can take some time.
This is an introduction to this three-part divorce series. My prayer and hope is to share some steps one can take, in order to find their way back to wholeness. To heal from this and become the man or woman that God has called you to be.
Prayer: “God, please provide comfort and healing for those suffering through the painful process of divorce. In their darkest hour, let them know you are near”.
~Angelique ~
Next Week: Divorce Part 2