Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Psalm 37:7 (ESV)
As human beings we all expect people to act a certain way. Whether it’s family members, friends, a boss, coworkers, fellow students, church members, and/or the pastoral staff, etc. Truth be told, most of our expectations of others, are based on our beliefs and our backgrounds.
In talking with a friend the other day, she mentioned the hard time she was having with an adult family member. How they were making choices that she felt was not in their best interest. She shared her concerns and voiced what she felt they should be doing with their lives. She was becoming so emotionally attached and involved, she became physically upset; because they were not acting and responding, the way she felt they should.
What I shared with her was this, when it comes to adults, be it family or others outside of the family, you cannot control their decisions, what they choose to do. It is not up to you to control the path they take in life. Depending on the relationship you have with these individuals, you can try to speak to them, give them your opinion/concerns, and share God’s wisdom with them. But ultimately, what they decide to do is their decision. There is no need for you to concern yourself to the point of being upset and physically distraught because of their choices.
Now, in reality, we are human and there will be times, especially if it is a close family member, the choices they make can cause your heart to break. But ultimately, we have to give them, and their decisions over to God. If God Himself is not going to force His children to do what is right, who are we to force them?
I have written in the past that all of us are given free will/free choice. There may be times as an older/wiser person, you can see the pitfalls ahead. But unfortunately for some, it is necessary for them to fall, in order for God to pick them up, and show them the way they must go. And even then, He can only do this it if they are willing to listen and request His help. He will not force anyone to do what they should do.
We all need to train ourselves to not have certain expectations of individuals, whether it is family members, friends, coworkers, etc. We need to learn to love them where they are and to give them the opportunity to figure life out on their own. We also need to not allow ourselves to be upset about their choices. Now at times, their decisions might cross your path and affect you. When that time comes, you then must step in to take care of the situation, as far as it relates to you. But unless it is directly affecting you, learn to back away, pray, and just let God handle it.
Blessings,
Angélique~