I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14
Have you ever really read over the traditional marriage vows, promising what you will do for another person? Have you looked at the vows, in a healthy, loving way, and said them to yourself? Let’s look at some of the wording of a traditional marriage vow, in order to share this insight.
In a section of the vows, the parties will usually say yes to the following: “Will you have this person to be your lawful wedded spouse, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, comfort, honor, and keep them in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live?”
Now take these same vows, turn them around slightly and from a healthy perspective, say them to yourself. For instance, ask yourself, am I true to myself under God’s Holy ordinance? Will I seek to care for, love and comfort myself? Will I seek to be honorable to myself and my Godly values? Will I forsake being with others, in a way that does not please God?
Another section of the vows talks about being with the other for better or for worse, richer or poorer. Ask yourself this, do I have a good healthy outlook as a single person, and not beat myself up or put myself down over past mistakes?
Prior to looking to marrying another person, one needs to really and truly marry oneself. You should be saying these vows to yourself and have them firmly established prior to you saying them to another individual.
To become healed and whole as a single person, first seek God, then a healthy relationship with yourself, before you look to seek other people. Understand that when you vow to love you, it is not just mere words, but a deep knowing within, that you and you alone, are a great and awesome child of God. When you really get comfortable and happy in your company, and when the time is right (and if it is in His will), God will allow that new partner to come into your life. You will be able to recognize them because you will come from a place of wholeness and not from a place of longing and lack.
Be true and faithful to you, your beliefs, your boundaries, your core being. For instance, do not look to date or seek a relationship when you are craving acceptance and approval from another person. It’s not fair to them and it’s definitely not fair to yourself, to deal with that type of pressure.
You do not need to look to another person for approval. The only approval we should all seek is from God. Whether we are living our lives and interacting with others, in a way that pleases Him. As you look to move forward in any relationship ask yourself, am I being loving, true, and faithful to myself? It is a totally different approach to relationships when you’re already committed to yourself and your Godly principles. Gone is the fairy tale mentality of looking for another person to rescue you.
After all, the only true rescuer is God through His Son Jesus Christ!
Blessings,
Angélique